Feeling sad again...22 Oct 2010

I called u when I arrived home, but u are dining out. I guess u are with your friends. So, u don't wanna talk much. I feel said. I keep asking myself do I like u? Do I love u? Or I just want to in a relationship with someone? Are you the one for me from god?? I really dunno and dun have confident. You seems so cold to me. I am afraid u will forget my birthday. I won't received anything from you. Am I really the person that you love? I heard you said 'I love u' when you were on my bed. Is it that's why you said you love me? I am lost. Am I thinking too much? If I ask you, you must say 'yes, you are thinking too much!'
I wanna give up this relationship, this is not he firs time I hunk of it. I feel unsecured. Unsafe. Feeling sad more than I feel happy. I hate myself laughing b'cuz of u, and crying b'cuz of you, too.
My emotion just totally following you. I hate myself being like this. I don't feel like you like or love me anymore. I am the one always trying to make you happy. I sent you e-card, send you SMS, sent you voice message, send you email every morning when I back to work. What have you done to me? If I am not sending you email by 1pm then may be you will ask am I being sick or busy. You keeping telling me it's expensive to call me during peak time. Everything seems unsure from you. When I ask when is the next time you are planning to come over to visit me, you said depends on do you have money. Keep telling me that it's expensive to come over to visit me. It's frustrate me a lot when you say that. I feel like I am not important to you.  You don't care about me. When I call you, seems you always busy. I need someone be my company. I need someone to spend time with me. When you are talking with me through skype, you always doing something else. I don't really like this. I need your full attention. Not searching online and talking to me on the same time. I need 100% of you. But seems you hardly to do it to me. Crying seems a bit more than before we start our relationship. Am I doing things right? Should we be together? I'm not sure...