Finally ... really BLACK FRIDAY..

Yesterday is a very bad day for me.

1. Go to work by myself
(I need to understand we are INDIVIDUAL, I have to learn independence)
In the morning, I think (as discussed on Thursday night) Yandy will go to school with me. Somehow, she told me that her classmate will pick her up, so I go to work by myself.

2. Walking to bus stop
Whild I'm walking by myself, though I will listen my IPOD and start to have deep thinking of what have happened to me recently. A pair of girls are walking towards me, suddently one of them just use her face to block my way (the distant are so closed) and she suddently scream to me and try to scare me. Finally, she DID it. I'm really scare by her, and jump up a bit. Then I keep walking towards to the bus stop rather than just stop my action, I just heard that her laughing voice is very happy. Afterwards, I'm just thinking.. what should I do next time when it happened to me again. Should I say somthing bad words?? Give them my middle fingure?? or just say "so UGLY of your face" or doing nothing. Then, I think of GOD, trying to guss/ feel WWJD when HE is facing this situation, what dose HE wants me to do?? I still have no answer of it. But.. let see....

3. AM I really that SUCKS at work??
(My self-esteem turn to nothing "0/100")
I still working on the "joinery schedule" of Rocky, I found that job is really a mess. Many questions that I want to/ need to ask, but then I can have the feedback/ result of "I dunno either". If as an Architect that incharge this project saying "he dosen't know what to do/ what's going on", how could I (as a small "learning" potato) can answer myself any questions/ or slove the problem by myself???

Then when he suddently ask me again. How many years of your working experience/ what have you done in the past (something like that.... ), also suggested me to use another method, try to mark down what he has told me to do/ at least group 5 or more question to ask him/ somebody else. That's the main point I want to said. Am I really that bad?? Why it hasn't happened to me before.... before I join in this project. Anthony/ Richard always saying they are alwyas welcome me to ask any question. That's totally different!!

After he talk to me, then I saw Anthony, and I told him how that architect to question about me (my ability). Then, Anthony said "Are you OK? He trying to look down to you?" before he asked me, I just keep questioning myself so many question. Then I told him "Yea.. I'm alright" Finally, my emotion told me that I'm "NOT OK". I'm really feeling bad. After that, I went back to my seat, and my tears automatically running out of my eyes. I'd tried to claim down myself, 'cuz so many people are in my areas that chatting and having snacks. Then suddently Richard said he wants to have a small talk with me.

Richard said Anthony told him how I was treated by that Architect. Richard wants to apologize for him, and told me that architect will going back to Sydney a week after. In this case, if "HE" talk to me on this matter again. I must let Anthony/ Richard know a.s.a.p. I shouldn't keep it by myself. Richard told me he knows that I'm student, I'm so important. He will let Bill (Branch Director) to know what have been happened to me. He really can comforts me. However, I'm still in the lowest self-esteem level, couldn't really go back to my normal level. I hope I will feeling better on monday, though I'd talked to Richard many times that I'm OK, when he is concerning me.

4. Really need to PRAISE/ THANKS GOD
I'm really want to thank GOD that I have dinner with my co-workers, though I skipped my fellowship on every Friday night. They make me feel more relax, and laugh a lot. Especially, Andrea that have a walk with me after dinner. We shared a lot, and her story is really funny. Thank you GOD to bring you guys as my friends & co-workers.

5. Back home
(feeling unsafe)
When I get off the bus, it almost 11pm. This is the first time I back home by myself that late. After I got off the bus, I need to pass through the train station. Suddently, I saw some guys is climbing the fencing and keep running towards my direction. Then I keep walking faster. When I walking on the bridge, I found that they are walking down to the railway, and keep running. Afterwards, I heard a voice that talking to those four guys, and yelling why they get on to the railway not crossing through the bridge. He makes me feeling a bit safe. At least, excluding that four guys, still have a officer stay inside the construction site (besides the train station). If I'm really harm by them, at least I got witness. They gave me the feeling that is keep chasing after me. Somehow, after that officer show up, they didn't run anymore, and I finally be safe to arrive home. Really want to say Thanks to GOD. I know that he is protecting me.